In The Year of The Dog
by SanitysOverrated87
Summary: Gift-fic. A little story about Shigure and his thoughts and feelings around Akito from childhood to the end of the Manga.


_This was a requested fic for a fan of Art of Love. I don't know if I did her request justice but I FINALLY finished it. I love some parts and hate others and I hope she is happy with it._

 _Quotes in italics are directly from the manga._

 _ **In The Year of The Dog**_

* * *

I was a quiet child. I knew that something was wrong with our family from very early on. After all, people _don't_ change into animals in the normal world. But there was nothing _normal_ about the Sohmas. My best friends turned into a sea-dragon and a snake. I, myself, turned into a dog. It was crazy, insane, strange…but true. There was a bird as well, but he was more of a loner and didn't hang out with Aya (the snake), Hatori (the sea-dragon), and myself. It was a strange world we lived in, those of us bound by the zodiac, but we were happy, privileged. The Elders looked upon us as blessings and gifts to the family. They never knew if we suffered from the inability to hug our mothers, the chance of never having a normal relationship…or they simply did not care. And as children, we only thought of how wonderful a hug from our mothers might be.

But our strange-normal world, was shattered one day.

Aya, Hatori, and I were playing in the main yard of the compound when we felt a pull to the main house. Without thought, we walked around the side and met Kureno heading the same way. We stumbled across Ren, sitting on the edge of the porch while Akira, the Head of the Sohma Family, worked at a table inside the room. She stood in shock as we reached for her, touching her stomach lightly with tears going down our cheeks. We knew…somehow we knew…something was coming from this woman's stomach. She screeched and shouted and we scattered but nothing could take the knowledge from us that someone special was coming to join us.

When Akito was born, Ren seemed to think she needed Akito to be a boy, that she had failed to give Akira the needed heir. So she dressed Akito as a boy and insisted she be raised as one. But the four of us knew and never forgot.

Her father thought she was the most important person in the world. While he did nothing to stop Ren from dressing her as a boy, he never heard her harsh words or saw her behavior to Akito. He waxed on and on about the importance of Akito, her being God and her specialness. He told her over and over how she was so wonderful. But then, never let her do anything but be that aloof God.

When Akira died, Ren became so much worse. We watched the woman become an evil stepmother from a Fairy Tale and treat Akito as poorly as one of the princesses in those same tales. But we were children, gifted children of the family yes, but children compared to the wife of the Head. And therefore, placated and sent on our way, even by the Elders' who disliked the 'jumped up servant' that married Akira. We watched as Ren destroyed any light and happiness in that child.

And finally, one day I could stand it no more. I found Akito crying in the garden and scooped her into my arms. From that moment on, I knew Akito was mine. Mine to love, mine to protect, mine to save. I became her everything. I was her confidant and therapist. I was there as often as I could be to help her through her pain and watched her spiral up and down in reaction to the world around her and the polar treatments she received. The idolization from her father and the Elders and the hatred and cruelty from Ren.

I loved her with the fierceness of a thousand suns.

But as we grew older and Ren's poison sank further and further into her psyche, Akito began to lash out. She became violent with the younger Zodiac, became cruel with the older ones. She lashed out at the girls angrily and flirted with the men before insulting them. She was hurting so badly and as much as I reached out to her, she turned away. I never knew why, my best guess was that Ren had poisoned her against me, repeating her often uttered phrase that we were only there because she was our 'God' and not because we liked her.

And for others this was certainly true. She had become so cruel, only Kureno, Hatori, and I spent any time with her willingly. The others came to demanded gatherings and Yuki had been _gifted_ to her and slowly, I saw her destroying him as well. Through it all I loved her, so fiercely, so strongly.

Then…I found her abed with Kureno. She looked at me and for a moment, I saw pain and remorse in her eyes but she turned away and said as 'God' she was able to do whatever she liked with her Zodiac.

My heart was shattered. Here I had given this beautiful, broken, child _everything_ and she had treated me like a plaything. I got my revenge, sleeping with the Evil Mother. But it was bitter and hollow. I made sure Akito knew about it and then…I left.

The next few years, I lived on my own, worked on my writing and my sly nature and snark grew and grew. I had always acknowledged I wasn't a genuinely _nice_ person and that was just fine with me. But I went out of my way to poke and prod and _hurt_ Akito because she had hurt me so deeply. I took Yuki into my house when he begged, not because I cared that he was hurting as well, but because it hurt Akito to lose her punching bag.

Time passed, as it always does and then Tohru came along. Just as when Akito was conceived and I knew that the world around us was about to change, I knew Tohru was going to bring about an even bigger change. And so I watched and plotted and poked and prodded. I hurt everyone around me. Aya and Hatori were my biggest supports and biggest critics. They knew everything and though they did not approve, they did not stop my machinations.

But…I did not expect this to happen.

" _You're relieved like the rest of them, aren't you?"_ Her voice was soft and I froze, not expecting such a comment. " _You'll be released from me. You can just…leave me and go wherever you please_." I could see her standing at the windows, shoulder's hunched as if to protect her from some blow. She was telling the zodiac they were no longer bound to her. Tohru's injuries sustained while trying to heal Akito's heart, and those Akito had caused Kureno in her grief, had shattered the tethers that made Akito need them to be with her.

I sighed and put down the book in my hands as I considered what to say and picked up the bag I had left at the door. " _If it means I'll be free from your bad behavior then I will be relieved. But that fiery temper of yours won't be cured overnight_."

She gasped in anger and turned towards me, her eyes puffy from trying not to cry. " _I said I've had enough of-"_

I placed the bag on the window sill next to her and interrupted. " _I'm not 'looking down' on you_." I whispered standing closer to her, " _I'm teasing you. Be sure not to get those two confused_." She opened her mouth to yell at me again but I kept on talking. " _And here, a gift. I guess you could call it…a farewell present_." The absolutely broken hearted look on her face…it gave me both pleasure and pain. To know that my leaving, caused her such sorrow, made me wonder if she did indeed return my feelings but was so broken that she'd never known how to show it.

" _I hate you! I hate you! I despise you! I knew it! I knew you would be the first-I knew you would be the first to just abandon me!_ " She screamed at me, scratching my face. Her yells were punctuated by my calm 'ows' of pain. But I let her get it out for a moment. _"I hate you! I HATE YOU! I despise you!"_ Her face was full of anguish and loss as she yelled.

Finally, I grabbed her wrists and turned my face from her reach. " _Wait…who said I was abandoning you?"_

" _You…you said 'farewell'…"_ She gasped, trying to catch her breath.

" _You've finally said goodbye to the person your father wanted you to be. Now you're turning into someone new, right? So this is a present to commemorate that. Congratulations. It's nice to meet the 'new you and I look forward to seeing how you live from here on out."_ I looked at her, seeing the confusion and pain mixing in her eyes, now with hope. _"You made us suffer. Your only actions were cruel ones. It makes me wonder. How on Earth can you make up for that?"_

Her eyes shut down and she turned away, _"Shut up! Just stop talking-"_

" _I'm honored. I didn't realize that I weighed so heavily on your mind."_ I honestly hadn't realized she might know how much pain she had caused me by sleeping with Kureno, since she had never stopped, never gave up that 'comfort'.

" _I'ts not that! I-it's not that. You were just…I…You were always the one…I was most afraid of! I always felt like you were the one who was furthest away. I could hold you back the least, you_ _ **feared**_ _me the least. Whether there was a bond or not, you were the one who pushed me away the furthest."_ Her eyes were wide with fear and I hated to see it.

" _I had to keep my cool. If I didn't stay fickle, I was afraid I might burst. There were so many times I thought I had you. But then you would flutter off and go to the others…_ _ **traitor."**_ Silly girl…didn't she realize…I didn't need to fear her. What she thought was pushing away, was treating her as a normal, beautiful person.

" _Wait but Shigure! Does that mean you…"_ Her eyes, if possible, grew wider and filled with tears and hope.

" _I'm cunning and childish. I don't like getting hurt. I_ _ **hate**_ _losing. Once I've gotten hold of something, I never want to let go. And I don't like sharing."_ I know she caught the fury in my tone when she jerked away from me in shock _. "That's right. If you're planning to reject me…now's your chance. I think I've learned to compromise a little, thanks to you. So I'll give you some time to get away."_

" _But!"_

" _If you come to me one more time. You know what's going to happen."_ As hard as it was, I walked away. I had to, she had to be the one to come to me. I couldn't chase her anymore. I wouldn't survive.

Later, as I was walking home, I felt the curse release. My hand rose to my chest almost without thought. _"Huh. So this is how it feels_." I muttered to myself. This feeling of…loneliness, of being by oneself. Tohru and Akito, somehow together, the two of them had broken the curse. I knew Akito would need me, need someone. But…I didn't go to her. I told her, she needed to come to me.

The day of the banquet, I didn't go. I went to the estate, found one of the spots I used to sit at in the past and waited. I wasn't there long once the banquet was finished before I heard the tread of feet behind me. When I saw her from the corner of my eye, I felt my heart skip a beat. She was wearing the kimono I had gifted her with. A gift for the new her. A dress for the fragile woman hidden behind the façade of an angry God.

" _Everyone was surprised. I think they had mixed feelings. I tried to apologize but I couldn't. I didn't want to put it into words. I thought that would be like saying that I had done enough."_ There was a pause as she considered her words. I didn't talk to fill the silence, this was something she needed to do for herself. _"No I still want to live here with the Sohma family. I think there are things that I need to do. I mean even like this, I'm still the Head of the family. Now there's one more person. Ren…I have to talk to Ren."_ I could hear the turmoil in her voice but also her determination to get it done.

" _Let me get this straight. You want me to join you in that life?"_ I asked nonchalantly. As if my world wasn't hanging on her answer.

" _Are you angry?"_ She asked after a moment.

 _What a silly question_. I thought, _still such a child…"A little. Can you blame me? After all…I've waited a long, long time for you to come back. You sure took your sweet time."_ The sweet, sad smile she gave me, made my heart thud in my chest and I curled my hand around her cheek, studying her new look and the gown I had given her. " _That look suits you. You're so beautiful."_

" _I…love you."_ Akito whispered, leaning up into me. Her body trembled slightly as the stress of the day finally drained from her.

" _I love you."_ I told her firmly and leaned down to press my lips firmly to hers feeling the tears against my palm. I had always loved her and finally, I had gotten her back. I knew the road wouldn't be easy. Akito had suffered a lot of damage, a lot of pain, and had caused a lot as well. But…as long as I had Akito, we could do anything. I needed to be there to support her and love her and let her finally bloom into the woman I know is buried deep inside her and help her flourish.

Our kiss was a beautiful ending and a magnificent beginning.

* * *

 _I hope that this story was worth the wait and I hope I did Shigure justice. He is one of my favorite characters but that means its a little harder to write him because I get so unsure if I am being true to who he really is._


End file.
